Munchies

I need to find a hobby...one especially made for nighttime after my husband goes to work.  Pre surgery, this was the time that I loved and hated the most.  The kids are in bed, Hubby is gone for the night, the good shows are on and food tastes much better when you are alone.  Closet eating at it's finest.

Ever since I was old enough to use the stove I have been a closet eater.  I was not overweight until I was 12, but ever since, food took on new uses other than fueling my body.    I began to use food as a comfort to  all sorts of teenage emotions.  Bad day at school?  Just eat.  Parents seem unfair?  Just eat.  Lonely? Just eat.   I used to love it when my parents were gone so I could bake brownies and hide them in my room.  Then..when the going got rough, my trusted chocolate buddies were just a staircase away. I spent A LOT of time in my room.   This habit spilled into secret  eating when I got a car, and the trash bin was conveniently located by the back door so I could get rid of the evidence of the McDonalds crap I just ate before dinner.  I was such a "good" eater around people and "bad" when I was alone and this has plagued me my entire life.  I have never fully understood why food has so much power.  I rate it high on the addiction scale the same as alcohol,drugs,or smoking.  Food was just my drug of choice.  I think it always will be, but now I have a tool to control that.  I did not have surgery on my brain though and it will take a long time to heal.

Tonight..even though I have no desire to eat, I still have the munchies!  You can only drink and swallow so much before you absolutely have to crunch on something.  Luckily I have a few of the ranch protein chips from my pre-surgery diet that are ok to have now.  I hate the taste of them, but they helped me crunch through the munchies and I got extra protein too.

Moral of the story is....I need to find something to do with my hands at night so that I can kick this habit for good.  Now is the perfect time since I am so limited to what I can eat anyways.  Of course I can always type, but I have no clue about something else to do.  I don't really have the patience to read anymore.  The last 15 years I have only read diet books, so I would not know where to even start on finding a good book.
Maybe I will have to visit the craft store and find something along that line.  Whatever I chose, it has to be better than munching the night away and then trying to sleep!