4 Weeks

Another week...another update!   I made it a month already and things are going well.  Interesting, but well.

I noticed that I get this odd dull sensation at times through the day.  I wouldn't call it pain but it is a bit uncomfortable.  I had no idea what it might be because I had never felt it before.  It would go away if I ate something but come back 2 hours later.   Then I realized....I am HUNGRY!   Hunger feels so much different now-it is like an achy,empty feeling.   I have not felt even the slightest bit of hunger since surgery.  But this tells me that my stomach is healing and not so angry and swollen anymore.

I still have trouble getting in all of my protein by solids, but I am getting there.  It is much easier to drink normal sips of water and I am super thankful for this.  I hate thinking about every sip!   I am still eating the same old things because this week when I try something new it doesn't agree with me.  Hopefully this gets better with time-or I may never eat when I am not at home again! Nothing tastes the same so I have issues with everything food related.  I am officially hating protein powder in any form.  When they day comes that I get to eat real food, it will be the happiest day of my life.  I know there are people out there who see this as the "easy" way, but I feel like if I can get through this 6 weeks...I can do anything!

I still feel like I need a sponsor every time I go to the store or somewhere alone.  I think I might struggle with this for a long time!  Old habits are so hard to break.  Even though I physically can't eat ANYTHING my head wants to, I think about it and crave it.  I have mental wars with myself in my head.  This is true addiction speaking.   I love going to the grocery store alone but lately I have been taking one or more kid.  They keep me from even steering the cart near the bakery and when they are with me, I want to get out of there as soon as possible!  No time to battle with myself and fret over it!

I did buy a new scale, and peeked at it.  I have only lost 2 pounds since my Dr visit 2 weeks ago, but I am losing inches and that is more important to me right now.  I have to start getting more exercise--no more excuses!  I did push mow the lawn for 45 minutes last night and picked beans--without getting winded.  I enjoyed it actually! (Yes...I just said I enjoyed it??).

So things are going well at this point.  I feel like I am finding my way a little more each day and that is what this journey is all about!